Confessions of a XXX Addict
by Lustful Muse
Summary: Bella didn't move to Forks willingly. She was forced there after Renee discovered the adult site she was running - as well as the numerous videos she had posted. Now Bella's on the prowl and Edward is her target, assuming she doesn't get distracted... Snarky Bella x Virgin Vamp Edward
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So I started writing this story one afternoon when I was feeling particularly lascivious. I thought it'd be fun to write a Bella who was so overtly naughty. There's so many stories about guys who are forward, but what about having a strong female who takes the lead? If you have any ideas you'd like to see played out, feel free to let me know. This Bella will surely be up for the challenge.**

**Let the story begin...**

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><p>I stared at the cucumber across from me in yearning. It was just lying there, all green and innocent, peeking out at me from some random girl's lunch bag. I mean really, who the fuck would bring a cucumber for lunch? And it wasn't even sliced or anything! Just long and thick and firm and…<p>

Shit.

I scowled at my own lunch as my traitorous mind imagined how it would feel sliding into me. The shape reminded me of a dick and my panties started to get damp at the thought. It would be easy to coerce the girl into trading for it. I could probably buy her a salad or some other healthy shit and be locked in the restroom in less than five minutes.

I bounced my legs restlessly under the table. It wouldn't be a good way to start my 'reformation' and my therapist would be disappointed, which would translate into more sessions with the harpy. Tuesdays at four were more than enough, thank you.

I pushed the mush on my tray around dejectedly. It's already been a whole fucking week without sex and damn if I wasn't feeling the effects. Abstinence – how I loathed that word. Ever since my mother had discovered that I had been running my own porn site, she had immediately shut it down and sent me packing to my father. It probably didn't help that her boyfriend had been a subscriber, which is how she had learned of my business in the first place.

But what the fuck did she expect? At least I had a job and it paid damn well. Renee just clung to Phil like a parasite, desperate for him to save her from poverty. He was only in minor league baseball and I couldn't imagine him being anything more.

I had started the site a few months ago, after several failed attempts at getting a part-time job. Guys were always lusting after me anyways, so I figured why not bank from it? I took some risqué photos, uploaded them to my site and within a few days had a pretty solid following. My popularity increased with the addition of short videos, all featuring various acts in the nude. I couldn't believe the stuff guys got off from – "Changing a light bulb naked" had been a favorite. It was strange, but I just rolled with it.

I had also received various requests for sex clips. Some guys weren't completely satisfied with my initial videos and had wanted to see me actually having sex. That had been a brief problem at the time. I had no intention of losing my virginity to some asshole and so I had enlisted the help of a friend.

When I had told James that he could pop my cherry, the guy was fucking ecstatic. I knew he had a thing for me so, predictably, he readily agreed.

Since the success of our first video, James and I had been at it like rabbits. After the pain of having my hymen brutally ruptured, I can honestly say that I had thoroughly enjoyed myself. Who knew a dick could feel so good? I had always thought it was a fairly worthless organ, especially with the way it just dangled about helplessly, but now I found myself fascinated by it.

I had become addicted to sex.

James had been happy to provide for my needs, but now that I had been condemned to Forks, I lacked an outlet for release and my search for a new partner hasn't been going well. Was there something in the water that made all the guys here ugly and retarded? I swear, the next yuppie loser to…

Well fuck me seven ways to Sunday.

"Who is that?" I asked aloud without meaning to, staring at a guy who was nothing short of delicious. He had wild bronze hair that gleamed under the fluorescent lights, full lips set upon a square jaw, and a body that was toned, but not ridiculously muscled.

My pussy secreted tears of joy and it was cucumber girl who answered my question.

"That's Edward Cullen," she said with disdain, "but don't bother trying to get his attention. None of us girls are good enough for him."

I ignored her in favor of watching him glide towards a table in the back. There was no other way to describe how he walked. He moved with such effortless grace that he literally gave the appearance of floating.

Edward sat down and our eyes locked from across the room. His expression seemed to be one of puzzlement while my own probably betrayed my naughty thoughts. I couldn't help it. The guy was like sex personified.

I glanced at the other people he was sitting with. They all had a similar otherworldly perfection. Why wasn't the rest of the population so blessed? Then my options for a new partner would be vast. As it was, however, I was content with simply watching my new target. James had been satisfying and our chemistry had been hot, but with Edward I had a feeling that we would be scorching.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

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><p>I couldn't believe it. I was fucking late for class. After leaving the cafeteria, I had slipped into the restroom for a brief masturbatory session and had lost track of time. The bell rang just as I was hitting my peak and softly panting Edward's name. I quickly washed my hands then dashed towards my biology class. Although I was sated, I hating being late.<p>

Mr. Banner took one look at my disgruntled expression and directed me to an open seat without introducing me to the rest of the students. I thanked the gods for that small miracle. My other teachers hadn't been so kind.

I looked towards the table he pointed out and saw that Edward was watching me warily. The only available seat was next to the one he occupied. I walked over to it, confused at the way his expression shifted to hostility.

What the fuck was his dysfunction?

I placed my bag on the table as I sat down. Edward was leaning away from me and overtly placing his hand over his nose. Was he trying to insinuate that I reeked? I clenched my jaw as I turned away, glaring at the whiteboard in the front of the classroom.

Bastard.

I knew for a fact that I smelled like fucking strawberries.

Mr. Banner passed out the instructions for our assignment. Since we were sitting together, Edward was therefore my partner for our lab. His hands were clenched into fists on the table, making no move to look into the microscope. I pulled it closer to me in annoyance. Like hell would I allow my grades to be ruined, even if it meant doing all the work myself.

I identified the first phase of mitosis and jotted the answer down on the sheet. I was just about to change the slides when Edward spoke to me for the first time.

"May I?" he inquired, gesturing towards the microscope.

I conceded with a shrug of my shoulders. I knew that my answer was correct, but if Edward wanted to feel like he was contributing, then I wasn't about to stop him from doing so.

"Prophase."

He spent even less time looking then I did and I bristled slightly in response. Was Edward trying to show me up? I narrowed my eyes as I removed the slide and positioned the next one under the microscope. I fucking ate guys like him for breakfast and I didn't mean that in a sexual way. I had been the top student at my former school, trumping over all those little nerds who thought they knew more shit then me. I didn't need to lack a social life and spend all my time in a library to be smart. My brain _devoured_ knowledge. I could hear something once and it would be ingrained in my memory. Had I been allowed to complete my senior year there, rather than leave during the middle of my junior one, I would have easily been named valedictorian. This wasn't arrogance, it was simply the truth.

So when Edward requested to see the slides once again, I allowed him to do so without any complaint. Fucker thinks he's hot shit around here? My lips tilted slightly upwards in challenge. Bitch please.

It was _on_.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

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**Swanstream: I have to admit, I have a fondness for this James.**

**acw1: :)**

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><p>By the time my last period rolled around I had built myself into a frenzy imagining all the ways I could take Edward down – innuendo completely intended. I was glad that we were playing volleyball in gym since I was eager to kick some ass on the court. Nothing released tension like a good sweaty work out.<p>

And sex right now just wasn't an option.

Coach Clapp told us to partner up for some warm ups and Mike immediately came bounding to my side.

"Hey Bella," he greeted, a big smile on his face. "Want to partner up with me?"

He looked so hopeful that I consented.

"Why not."

"Great!" he exclaimed, "I'll go grab us a ball."

Mike scampered away and I watched in amusement. He reminded me of a golden retriever. On the other side of the gym was cucumber girl, who I now knew was actually named Jessica. She was staring at Mike wistfully.

Huh.

Well that was disgusting.

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><p>The final bell rang and class was dismissed, but Mike lingered at my side.<p>

"You were really good out there," he said as we headed towards the locker rooms. "Were you on the volleyball team at your former school?"

"No, I was more busy with other activities."

"Oh yeah? What kind of activities?"

"The kind that involved me and an aroused male partner," I replied casually.

"Oh…" Mike replied in confusion. I watched as he scrunched his forehead in thought as realization slowly dawned on him.

"Oh!" he squeaked.

His face turned red and he glanced away, looking at everything except for me.

"Did you do that type of thing a lot?" he asked in a breathy voice.

He shuffled around uncomfortably, pulling his shirt lower so that it covered his crouch.

"That depends," I replied. "What's your definition of 'a lot?'"

I gazed at him levelly and he turned even redder.

"Never mind," he sputtered, stumbling away. "See you later! Bye!"

Mike dashed into the boy's locker room before I could respond.

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><p>After changing, I went to the front office to turn in my paperwork. When I entered, I was greeted with a fuck hot view of Edward leaning over the counter. He was busy speaking to the receptionist about something, so I took the opportunity to peruse his ass.<p>

My pussy creamed a bit in response.

I didn't know how some guys did it. They could wear snug jeans and look hella fine, but I didn't understand how that could be possible. Surely it was too tight to be comfortable.

Unless they were packing only peanuts.

It was always awkward to stare at a guy's crouch and realize just how flat it was. Where was the bulge? And, more importantly, did I need a fucking microscope?

I tilted my head to the side to see if I could check out the situation going on between Edward's legs. Right as I did so, someone opened the door and my hair was blown into my eyes.

Edward stiffened and turned around. When he saw me his lips curled back into a sneer.

"Never mind," he told the receptionist, "I can see that it's impossible."

He walked past me and I glanced away in guilt. Had Edward seen me trying to peak at his dick? Although his shirt had obscured my view, I knew how sensitive some guys could be.

Was there a reason for Edward to be?

Shit. I really hoped not.

That would be disappointing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

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**Swanstream: _Charlie_ said that Jake is off limits... but we'll see what Bella decides to do ;)**

**allisonxkate: If Jacob is hot, which he is, then I can't imagine why Bella wouldn't take interest in him... hehehehe. Charlie mostly warned her away because he is aware (or at least has an inkling) of just how mischievous Bella can be and doesn't want her to interrupt the years of friendship he's had with the Blacks. Thank you for the compliment!**

**LauraHilary: I think Jacob might end up being of some assistance to Bella and all her "needs," lol.**

**MissTeenageDream: Oh, I think it's safe to say that Bella is the polar opposite of a Virgin Mary, lol.**

**acw1: He's mostly just worried that she'll somehow ruin his friendship with Billy.**

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><p>After I gave the receptionist my papers, I left the office and began to walk home. Charlie had offered to pick me up, but I knew how hectic his work schedule could be and didn't want to rely on him. Plus, I was hoping to get my own ride soon. I had some money saved up and could probably get a decent used car.<p>

It was drizzling and took me about twenty minutes to walk home. I left my umbrella near the door to dry then went to my room. It was still decorated just as I remembered as a child. I had already unpacked most of my things and just had one more box to go through. That box was filled with my more scandalous items, which I had taken great care to hide from Renee, thus I hadn't opened it while Charlie was home. Our conversation regarding my previous business was awkward enough. After a few mumbled reasons of why a girl my age shouldn't be engaging in such acts, Charlie had handed me an appointment card for a sex therapist. It was a rather crass way of handling the situation, but I knew Charlie had always been on the reticent side. He could scarcely converse with me in a normal setting, thus addressing my "issues" was apparently too much for him.

I peeled the tape off the box and opened it with a slow smile. When I had told James that I was moving to Forks, he had been upset, but was slightly mollified after we had sex. The night before my scheduled flight, James had left a mysterious package in my room, along with a note stating that I couldn't open it until I arrived in Forks. The temptation to do so was there, but I had decided to wait. At least it gave me something to look forward to.

Now that I was here in Forks, I felt excitement flutter in my stomach as I took the package out of the box. I opened it and inside was a DVD as well as several pictures. I looked through the stack of pictures first. All of them were of James and I, taken on a day that we had experimented with bondage.

I felt myself become aroused as I continued to look at the pictures. One of the things I had enjoyed about James was his willingness to submit to me. He had a reputation as somewhat of a badass, which made his docility all the more pleasurable. I could reduce him to a quivering heap of need with just the right touches and suggestions.

It was a power that I had found invigorating.

I hide the pictures and DVD in my dresser then took my cell phone out of my bag. I grabbed my vibrator from the box as well then called James as I lay down on my bed, leisurely touching myself through my clothes. He answered on the second ring.

"Bella!" James said, and I could hear the smile in his voice, "I've missed you. How's life in Forks?"

"Tolerable. What're you doing now?"

"I just got home from work."

Through the haze of my lust, I pictured James in his uniform, all sweaty and greased up from working at his cousin's auto shop. An involuntary moan escaped from my lips.

I heard a swift intake of breath followed by a husky groan.

"Are you touching yourself?" he asked in a low voice.

I felt myself dampen at how well James knew me. We had indulged in phone sex before, but this would be the first time since my move.

"Just my breasts. I like the feel of my nipples when they're hard."

He moaned again and I continued.

"I want you to touch yourself for me. Unzip your pants then grab your dick. Play with it," I commanded, "Rub yourself until you're erect."

I waited as he did what I instructed, savoring the way his breathing became labored.

"Are you hard?"

I heard his fist pumping a few more times before he answered.

"Yeah," he rasped, "Damn Babe, I miss you so much. You have no idea how much I want you."

I smiled as I pushed my jeans and panties to the floor. I turned on the vibrator then placed it on my pussy, squirming at the way it pulsed against my clit.

It was a shame that I've been reduced to seeking pleasure from a vibrator. I knew it could never satisfy me like the real thing, but I was still willing to try. Being constantly horny would not bode well for those around me.

"Now slide your dick into your hands," I told James. "Imagine that you're entering me."

I pushed the vibrator into me as I spoke, moaning at the way it felt.

"So hot and tight," he whimpered.

"Faster," I demanded, increasing the pace of my own ministrations. "I want to fucking _feel_ you."

I was pumping the vibrator in and out of me wildly, spurred on by James' harsh panting. Finally his growl sent me over the edge. I snarled my own release as we came together.

"Shit, I really needed that," James murmured. "It feels like forever since I've seen you. I wish you weren't so far away."

I closed my eyes as my breathing evened out. This turn in our conversation was making me uncomfortable. James had insisted that we continue our relationship, but my response had been one of confusion. Was he under the impression that we were in one? I thought I had been clear from the beginning that our liaisons would only be sexual.

There would be no strings attached.

"James," I began carefully, "you know our relationship was never like that. You're a great guy, but I'm sure that you could get any girl you wanted."

"But you're the only one I desire!"

"It wouldn't work out, you know–"

"Is there someone else?" he demanded. "Have you already found another guy to replace me?"

I could hear the jealousy in his voice and I let out a weary sigh. This is why I avoided relationships. I knew his emotions were compounded because of our distance, but after time they would surely wear off. He was only attached to me since we had been each other's first. Such sentiments wouldn't last forever.

"Look, I refuse to talk to you when you're like this. I need to start dinner so I'll call you later," I replied.

"Fine," he bite out before hanging up.

I stared at my phone before putting it away. These fucking feelings were too damn complicated.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

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><p>I didn't have much cooking experience, but after a few days of living with Charlie, I had taken it upon myself to prepare our meals. I had learned that Charlie rarely made anything more complicated then bacon and fried eggs. Instead he had frequented the diner down the street.<p>

After scrounging around in the kitchen, I came up with just enough ingredients to make a simple pasta. The noodles were boiling in a pot of water and I had the tomato sauce simmering in another. The loaf of bread I had found was a bit questionable, but I had a few slices toasting in the oven, which I had chosen from the center of the stack, discarding those that were starting to get moldy. Besides, whatever lingering bacteria there was would probably be killed from the heat of the oven.

By the time Charlie came home, I had everything set out on the table. He noticed the food and smiled in appreciation.

"Smells good, Bella," he said, removing his coat and boots at the door.

I smiled in response, resisting the urge to bask in my own awesomeness. Look at me, being all domestic and shit. Renee didn't need to be much of a mother and teach me, I was able to learn things on my own. Maybe later I could try more complicated recipes. I would make it a point to figure out what Charlie liked to eat.

We sat at the table and ate without talking. The silence didn't bother me much, although I could tell that there was something that Charlie wanted to say, but wasn't sure how to bring up. I figured I'd go easy on him and take the initiative to start a conversation.

"So my classes seem okay," I began, waiting to see if Charlie would react. He didn't say anything, but I had his attention so I continued.

"Nothing too strenuous. I also met a few new people today," I said, pausing to take a bite of my pasta. I was dabbing my mouth with a napkin when Charlie finally spoke up.

"What about boys?" he asked gruffly. "I don't want a repeat of what happened in Phoenix."

So this is what he's been worrying about. I wanted to reassure him without revealing my intentions, but I couldn't promise that I'd completely forgo sex.

No reason to admit that to my father.

"I won't be making any more of those kinds of websites," I answered honestly. "I'm actually hoping to find a part-time job around here. Something that I'll be able to do while still attending school."

"I heard that Newton's Olympic Outfitters is hiring. The owner has a son in your grade, Mitchell or something."

"Mike?" I corrected. "I'll ask him about that tomorrow. He's in some of my classes."

"And what about my original question," Charlie persisted.

He was staring at me intently while waiting for my response. I found that a bit unnerving. I was more accustomed to life with Renee. She had basically left me to my own devices and had rarely inquired about my life. I didn't know if I liked this new type of scrutiny.

"As for boys, none have really caught my eye," I said evasively.

Edward was more like a man, in my opinion, or at least in a whole other category from the supposed males that attended my high school. It wouldn't be right to simply call him a 'boy.' The term was almost vulgar in comparison.

"Even so, I want to meet anyone you consider going out with. And none of that hanky-panky stuff either."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his terminology.

We finished the rest of our meal in silence. I told Charlie that I would do the dishes and after watching me for a few moments, he went to the living room and turned on the tv. As I was washing, I remembered that I wanted to ask him if he knew where I could purchase a used car. I hadn't seen any sales lots on my way home, but there had to be one someplace around here.

"Ch-Dad, do you know where I could get a used car?"

Charlie glanced up and thought about my question.

"Billy's been trying to sell his old Chevy," he replied. "Do you know how to drive standard?"

I nodded. James had taught me how to drive his truck.

"Then I'll give him a call tonight. Maybe we can swing by his place and have a look at it. He lives down in La Push with his son, Jacob. Do you remember them? We used to go fishing together every summer."

"Sort of," I said uncertainly.

I know I used to play with Rachel and Rebecca when I was younger, but my memories of Jacob weren't as clear. The only thing I remembered was a tan, scrawny boy who liked to make mud pies with me. Sometimes he even ate them too.

I grimaced at the imagery. Maybe he grew into some sort of freak. It's usually those with weird habits as a child that develop really strange quirks when they're older.

During my first session last week with my therapist, I discovered the reason for my penis fixation, which she had said was the first step to recovering from my sex addiction. It all stems from when I was a child and used to remove the clothes from my Ken dolls. I wanted to see what their genitalia looked like, but was shocked when I had found only smooth plastic.

Now I'm fucking scarred for life.

According to my therapist, I'm attempting to fill a void from that experience. She made it all seem perfectly logical, discussing the issue with various charts and statistics. It made me wonder how many other people were like me, although if it's an excuse for looking at dicks, then I suppose I'd be willing to take it. It doesn't mean that I believe all her shit, but her conclusions were rather amusing.

"Well Billy retired, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we stopped by tomorrow afternoon. Jacob's been asking if they could visit. He seems quite anxious to see you again."

I ducked my head at the warning in his eyes.

"Jacob's off limits. Got it."

I went over to give Charlie a hug. He was sitting on the couch so it was a bit awkward. We ended up doing a friendly one-armed sort of thing.

"I'll be in my room finishing some homework," I told him, heading towards the stairs.

"Okay, don't stay up too late."

And with that Charlie bid me goodnight, returning his attention once more to the tv.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**That'sMzPeachesTYVM: I know, he's showing his age, lol!**

**berdb: And that's what makes it so much fun! Edward has no idea what's in store for him ;)**

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><p>The next morning I walked to school. It was surprisingly sunny, which was nice, although I still brought an umbrella just in case. The sweater I was wearing was a sultry blue color that showed a hint of cleavage at the neckline. My gray skinny jeans hugged my curves and made my ass and legs look amazing. I was rocking these threads and soon Edward would know it.<p>

By the time I arrived at school, the parking lot was filled with cars. Most of the vehicles were older models and some of them looked like real clunkers. I heard a honk as I was walking towards the entrance. Turning around, I saw a red Suburban with a familiar face waving frantically in the driver's seat.

Mike leapt out, slammed his door, and bounded towards me. His hair looked extra shiny in the sunlight. He offered me a wide smile and I returned it. His enthusiasm was impossible to ignore.

"Hey Bella!" Mike exclaimed. "I didn't see you pull in, did you walk?"

He fell in step beside me, swinging his arm awfully close to my own so that our hands would occasionally brush. He was trying to be subtle, but I knew what he was doing. The problem was that I had other interests. I stopped abruptly and grabbed his arm.

"Listen Mike, you're sweet and all, but plain vanilla just doesn't do it for me."

I shut his jaw that had fallen open and patted his shoulder as a means of comfort.

"But Bella–" he began to protest.

I cut him off.

"That isn't to say I'm not digging that puppy thing you've got going on. I can tell you'd make an awesome submissive."

His frown transformed into a grin. He was no doubt tickled pink by my words. With nothing else left to say, I resumed walking, intent on storing some of my textbooks in my locker. That shit gets heavy after a twenty-minute walk.

I had taken a few steps from Mike when I paused, realizing that I had meant to ask him about a job. It was a moment too late that I saw Mike as I was turning. My nose collided with his chest and I felt a crushing pain like no other. It was then that I knew that Mike must work out – either that or he had fucking nipples of steel. Damn thing must have broken my nose. I could feel a warm liquid dripping down from my schnoz.

Mike, ever the gentleman, tried to catch it, obviously to keep it from dripping on my boobs. I saw the blood pooling into his cupped hands and that was it.

There was shouting as spots appeared in my vision. The smell was horrendous and I felt my stomach roll. Breakfast was soon to make an appearance, but damn Mike wouldn't get out of my way. I was now swaying like a drunk whore and Mike made the mistake of remaining in my splash zone.

I spewed chunky shit all over the sidewalk, but most of it landed in Mike's awaiting hands. Whether it was the blood or barf, I don't know. One moment I was conscious and the next I was out.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**That'sMzPeachesTYVM: I'm playing up her squeamishness from _Twilight_**

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**CanineTeethFreak: I don't think Bella would be able to settle down right away. She'll have to first realize how important he is to her before she'll truly change her ****promiscuous ways...**

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><p>I awoke to the smell of antiseptic and Mike's worried face right in front of my own. As soon as he saw that my eyes were open, he began apologizing profusely.<p>

"Oh my gosh Bella, I'm so sorry!" he said frantically and I swore I felt spittle land on my cheek.

I gestured for him to lean closer. Mike, of course, readily complied. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt to wipe my face and, sure enough, saw a damp spot on the fabric.

What I didn't expect, however, were the muscles of his abdominals. Mike really was more fit than I thought. Impressed, I took the liberty to glide my hands over the ridges and Mike began to hyperventilate. Noticing that each touch caused his breath to hitch further, my smirk began to grow more devious. Mike may not be what I'm looking for, but what's wrong with having some innocent fun, especially with someone so fucking willing?

I slowly slid my hand further south. At this point his face was unimaginably flushed. Once again there was a bulge in his pants, but this time Mike made no effort to hide it. Instead his hips began to thrust forward as though begging me to go lower.

"Do you like me touching you?" I whispered, looking up at him through my long lashes.

Mike threw his head back and moaned loudly. The erotic sound caused my nipples to harden. His panting reminded me so much of James that for a second I imagined that it was him in front of me. His dick that I lightly raked my nails over and his body that pushed me back onto the cot, covering mine so completely.

With my eyes closed and imagination running wild, I didn't hear the door opening.

"Michael Newton!" a shrill voice shrieked, "What in the world are you doing? Get off of Ms. Swan this instant!"

The effect of the nurse's voice was instantaneous. Mike leapt away from me, guilt covering his face, and I felt my insides freeze.

Just what the fuck had I been doing? Have I really become so starved for sex that my standards have been shot? I covered my face with my hands. My therapist would have a field day with this shit.

And I thought I had been getting better.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

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><p>The silence in the room was deafening. Though I may not be fond of Ms. Tanya, I had to admit that the bitch had her stare down. No wonder she became a therapist. She could just look at someone and they'd spill their guts to her. Specializing in sex probably just made it all the sweeter. Maybe I need to consider this as a career option. I could still have my jollies but remain fucking clean.<p>

Isabella Swan, sex expert at your service.

"Do you find your situation amusing," Ms. Tanya asked, her droll voice cutting into my thoughts, "Because I can assure you that what happened today has not been progress."

I let out an exaggerated sigh and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Ms. Swan," she said, folding her hands upon the table, "The only way you will improve is if you have the desire to do so. Now should we cut our session short or do you have something of merit to say?"

I thought of all the ways that I could tell her off. A scathing reply was on the tip of my tongue, but then an image of Charlie crossed my mind. I know that my therapy hasn't been coming cheap and with my lack of contribution to our finances, Charlie's been footing my bills all alone. Did I want to end early and see the disappointment in his face?

I bit the inside of my cheek and willed myself to cooperate.

"I need to find a way to control my urges," I finally admitted.

"Have you thought of keeping a log?"

"I'm not really the type of girl who keeps a diary-"

"Don't think of it like that then. It'll be more of a journal," she explained. "I want you to record all the times when you have the desire to have sex… or do something inappropriate."

"Would doing that really work?" I asked skeptically.

"I think it'll help you to monitor your urges and take control of them more consciously."

By the end of our session I felt much less guilty. Tomorrow I would definitely apologize to Mike and begin my "no sex" journal.

Oh joy.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**That'sMzPeachesTYVM: I will try!**

**jkp13452: Okay!**

**Mrs. McGovern-Miller-Zajic: :)**

**YaleAceBella12: Will try!**

**queen cullen0527: I will try!**

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><p>On the way home, I asked Charlie to stop at the Mini Mart near our house. He waited in his cruiser as I ran inside to buy a notebook. I wanted to be inconspicuous so I chose a plain black one for my "No Sex Journal," very aptly named, if I do say so myself.<p>

As I was waiting in line at the register, my nipples started tingling something fierce. I fucking knew that Edward must be in my vicinity. Slowly turning my head to the side, a flash of bronze hair confirmed my suspicion.

Feigning interest in a nearby stack of magazines, I left the line and edged closer to where he was standing. Seeing the sudden tension in his shoulders, I knew that Edward was aware of my presence. He was carrying a basket filled with make-up and other girly products. My mouth opened before I could stop it.

"Considering a foray into transvestism, Edward?"

Immediately, his eyes flashed towards me. They were much darker than I remembered. Angry black orbs continued to stare at me. He began taking in huge gulps of air, like suddenly he couldn't get enough of my smell.

I admit that my pussy started to lubricate itself in preparation.

"What are you talking about?" he snarled, taking a menacing step forward.

Unperturbed, I gestured to his basket. For a moment, confusion altered his expression, but then he whipped his head back at me and bit out, "Those are for my sister, if you must know."

A lifted eyebrow is my only response.

"So what's your deal," I asked, crossing my arms in a way that I knew accentuated my cleavage. Not that I was baiting him or anything.

Just laying some ground work.

His expression melted and he actually looked mildly apologetic. Obviously he knew that I was referring to his shitty attitude. I watched him, relentless in the way I stared him down, secretly proud of myself that my eyes never once strayed to his crotch. At least not while he was watching.

"Why don't we start over," he finally said.

A smirk tugged at my lips as he held his hand out. Indulging him, I placed my hand into his own.

"Shit!" I yelped out, "Why the hell is your hand so damn cold?"

Now he looked sheepish.

"Poor circulation," Edward responded, rubbing his hand against his pant leg.

As if I'd believe that shit.

Darting forward, I grabbed his hand. Now that I was expecting it, it really wasn't as cold as I first thought. Yet in my mind I was wondering, _How does he jack off with this?_

Edward was staring at me again. Oh fuck, did I ask that out loud? And just when I thought the moment couldn't get any more awkward, he responded.

"It's never bothered me before," he retorted, staring as though daring me to contradict him.

With those parting words, he grabbed his basket and walked away and damn if that didn't make my stomach all fluttery and shit.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Could those be butterflies, Bella? Leave some love and review!<strong>


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